seoul's theme song

finally getting into the swing of things. sleep schedule adjusted. bowel movements normal. now all i have to do is get out there, meet some folks and have a drink. T- 5 days till i'm out on my own and living with a complete stranger. these things shouldn't be so difficult for me. in my mind i'm courageous enough to have accomplished these simple things already, yet i haven't and sometimes find myself bored given the circumstances. it's like i push myself to do something new and different, but once i get as close to the edge as possible, i hesitate to jump (and i swear, i take running starts!) welp, either way i'll jump (or maybe the devil inside will just push me in). on the plus side, all of this down time has given me some time to listen to some new music, doodle in my notebooks and get back into shape. it's been a while since i've been sober this long and fit from hauling my ass to the gym everyday. "what a square," she thought to herself.
 "oh shut up, you."

17th and lotus

finally got around to it and just threw it together.

apology

i guess one of these are in order.
for all those times i haven't been clear.
for not making those sacrifices you never expected me to,
but wanted me to make.
but after the first couple times, i realized
it didn't make a difference either way.
just like it makes no difference to you
that i've been through it too.

set yourself free
no one else will do it for you.

whew, what a release

week 1 in seoul

i felt pretty pathetic as i shed a couple tears this morning, feeling sorry for myself because i've yet again succumbed to nostalgia. i really have to stop doing that. it's annoying.

all is good. yeah so i had my moment, it's what i needed. i chatted with my mom and dad on facebook for the first time ever, something i normally would not have done by choice, but this morning it felt nice. i guess it's true you never appreciate your parents until you feel vulnerable and alone. or maybe that's just me. either way, it's something i feel i need to continuously strive to change. i felt much better after our chat, even though i told them everything was fine and that i'm having a good time. we left the apartment and explored another "zone" as my city tour book calls it, hong-dae, "a creative space for the young and free to express and share their unique culture" this is where i..

-witnessed my first fixed gear hipster biker gang cruisin the streets on some beautiful bicycles
-came across a store that didn't play k-pop or american top-40 but actually played a 90's brit pop blur song (and not that "woohoo" one that everyone knows.)
-saw a group of girls without the same plastic surgery faces and not dressed like they thought they were super models.
-men wearing skinny jeans, ray bans and fedora hats.

i was confused as to how i was supposed to feel about all this. in a country where everything has felt so overwhelmingly unfamiliar, this neighborhood has finally given me a sense of comfort merely because of familiarity. i liked this neighborhood a lot, mostly for its life and youth. however, this is where i soon realized that wherever you are..

hipsters will be hipsters.